


Worth It

by goodluckgettingtosleep



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Confessions, Drunkenness, Falling In Love, Hate to Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3897385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodluckgettingtosleep/pseuds/goodluckgettingtosleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Merlin thought about that first night in the pub, when he’d been sure that putting up with Arthur Pendragon wasn’t worth any possible benefit that might come from it at all. Looking at the wide and shining smile in front of him now, he knew it had been worth it after all; all of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on this promt I got from a nice Anon on tumblr: Merthur. "Looking at the wide and shining smile in front of him he knew it had been worth it, all of it."
> 
> Okay, so I had an idea for this, but I just couldn’t figure out how to start with that sentence, so I cheated and used it as the last sentence. But the fic is based on it anyway, of course! :) It’s my first attempt at a Modern Merthur AU. 
> 
> It's not beta-read, because I just wrote it for that prompt meme on tumblr and meant to post a very short drabble, but then it kind of developed a life of its own, so... :)

When Merlin first met Arthur, he couldn’t stand him. Arthur Pendragon was exactly what he had expected: An arrogant bully, who thought he owned the world because he was the heir of some rich (very, very rich according to Lance and Gwaine) entrepreneur, who owned several coffee shops and fast food chains all over the world. Merlin had no idea why Lance and Gwaine would want to be friends with him, but when they’d told him they’d bring him along to their next pub night, he didn’t say anything, assuming that it was simply convenient for them to befriend their boss’s son – and probably future boss, too. Now that he’d been introduced to Arthur, though, he couldn’t imagine taking up _that_ burden only to be on good terms with his superior. Putting up with him really didn’t seem worth it at all. 

“What’s the matter with _you_ , anyway?” Arthur asked him when Gwaine, Lance and the others were standing at the bar and waiting for a new round of drinks.

Merlin scrunched up his nose and raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“Are you a bit slow or something? What was your name again? … _Mer_ lin?”

Merlin huffed and glared at the blond man, who was at least remarkably handsome, Merlin gave him that.

“At least I’m not an entitled prat.”

Arthur flashed him a humourless grin. “Oh, I see. You’re one of those pretentious working class heroes who always act like they’re better than anyone happening to be successful in their job, while really, you’re just envious because you barely manage to pay your rent every month, let alone afford any of the many luxuries life offers people like me.”

Merlin gave an empty laugh and narrowed his eyes at him.

“I couldn’t care less about your money. It’s what your money does with you. You treat the people around you like garbage and then expect them to like you. If anything, they’re just intimidated by your alleged power – for which you never had to work a day in your life, by the way. You can pretend that you’re some _higher_ human being all you want, but underneath you just look like any of us. Prat.”

Arthur clenched his jaw and Merlin could see that he’d pressed the right buttons. His nostrils were flaring, but Merlin wasn’t impressed at all. He could see behind his shiny façade. From the moment he’d met him, he’d seen the hidden vulnerability, the underlying fear of his father.

“I—“ Arthur started, but suddenly his façade started crumpling and for a moment he seemed at a loss for words, before blurting out: “You have _no_ idea how much I work, just to please my father, who keeps doing things I just can’t morally support. But I do them anyway, because he’s my father and what am I supposed to do? For you, life is easy. You can do whatever you like, you can _like_ whoever you want – you have _no idea_ how it feels to have your life laid out in front of you, without having any choice at all.”

Merlin’s face softened a little; Arthur looked considerably taken aback by his own outburst, staring at Merlin like he couldn’t quite believe that he was there and wondering what the hell he’d done to him. Merlin assumed that not many people tried and succeeded to put him off his stride like that.

“If you tell _a soul_ that I said that, I’ll personally make your life a living hell.” He hissed, warily looking around. Merlin raised his hands in surrender.

“I won’t. Your secret is safe with me.” He said softly – suddenly having more sympathy with the prat than he'd ever thought he could possibly muster. Not that he liked him. He was still entitled and arrogant and Merlin still couldn’t stand him – he could just stand him a teeny tiny bit more than before his outburst.

Merlin felt Arthur staring at him for a while longer, until their friends came back, laughing loud and chatting even louder. He caught Arthur looking at him a few times that night; he wasn’t sure what he wanted from him, though. Merlin doubted that they would ever really get along – their differences just seemed too grave to overcome, a little sympathy or not.  

 

*****

 

Merlin met Arthur again at his friend Gwen’s birthday party. She was working for the prat as well and while she agreed with Merlin that he was an entitled bully, she also said that there was more behind his façade than he let on and that she’d witnessed that good side of him on a few occasions at work. Merlin was also pretty sure that she had a bit of a crush on Arthur. But he couldn’t really blame her; the man _was_ extraordinary handsome after all, with his thick blond hair and his bright blue eyes.

Arthur gave him a nod when Merlin spotted him leaning against the kitchen counter, sipping at a bottle of beer. Merlin had no idea what he was doing and why, but he took it as an invitation to walk over, grab a bottle of his own, and lean against the counter next to him, silently offering him companionship. Arthur looked miserable; and Merlin had a hunch that it had to do with his father again. He still didn’t like him, but he had that spark of sympathy for him ever since his outburst in the pub when they’d first met. 

“What do you want, Merlin?” Arthur asked after a while, voice deprived of any emotion. “Do you want to insult me again?”

“I can, if you want me to. But actually, you just looked like you could use the company of someone who couldn’t care less about your problems, and most of all, won’t try to cheer you up.” 

Arthur huffed and Merlin could’ve sworn that there was a small smile dancing around his lips. “Well, that’s not even entirely stupid.”, he said and took a swig of his beer. 

Merlin grinned wryly. “I’m actually much smarter than I look.” 

Arthur raised an eyebrow and turned his head to give him an incredulous look.

“Are you, then?”

Merlin ignored him and walked over to the fridge, searching for the Tequila he’d brought. It was right at the front and he took it out, holding it up for Arthur to see, one eyebrow raised in question.

Arthur’s eyes almost lit up for a moment. “Gods, yes.” 

*

Two hours later, Merlin and Arthur were sitting on the couch in Gwen’s living room, passing the Tequila back and forth and drinking right from the bottle. They were both fairly drunk already and Merlin knew all about Arthur’s big fight with his father and how he planned on quitting his job in his father’s firm because he just couldn’t take it anymore. He also knew what exactly it was that Arthur was doing at work now and how much he hated it.

They still hated each other, though. Obviously.

But Merlin found that talking with Arthur was easy; he was a good listener and he actually seemed interested to hear what Merlin had to say.

Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.

But no. He was still an asshole. And the biggest prat of all prats.

“Your ears are funny.” Arthur said a while later, reaching out and tugging at Merlin’s left earlobe. Merlin started giggling ridiculously.

“I know. They’ve always been like that. Some kids called me Dumbo in school because of them.” 

Arthur smiled at him, and if Merlin didn’t know any better, he would’ve confused his expression with something like fondness.

“Suits you. That name.”

Merlin faked being offended, a grin ghosting around his lips. “Well, thank you very much. Clotpole.” 

Arthur burst into laughter and almost spilled the Tequila all over Merlin.

“Dumbo’s quite cute, though.” He brought out, taking a huge swig before he could actually spill all the remaining booze.

Merlin froze for a moment, but Arthur didn’t seem to realize what he’d just said. He felt a blush creeping up his cheeks and he tried to hide it by snatching the bottle away and taking a gulp himself. 

He also hoped that the alcohol would help him get rid of the fluttering in his stomach and the sudden urge to find out what Arthur’s lips tasted like.

How did that happen? He didn’t even _like_ Arthur! He was a part and - well, probably not as bad as Merlin had thought first. And he really was _quite handsome_. Handsome, and as straight as one could get, Merlin reminded himself, still not sure where the fluttering had suddenly come from.

But then Arthur flashed a broad, shining smile at him, reaching for the bottle and brushing his hand against Merlin's in the process and that was it.

Merlin knew, even in his state of considerable drunkenness, that he was actually falling for the prat. And he was falling hard.

 

_Shit._

 

*****

 

Merlin had no idea when exactly he’d stopped hating Arthur and when he’d started falling for him. It was all a blur in his mind and when he was finally sober again, he found that he was still falling and that he hadn’t just been overly emotional due to his drunkenness. He kept thinking of the prat all the time; it was like he just couldn’t get him out of his mind. He hadn’t been able to get rid of the fluttering either, so when he next saw Arthur - a week later in the pub - his first reaction was to blush and empty his drink in one gulp.

“You okay, Merlin?” Arthur asked as he came up to him at the bar, a small grin gracing his lips. Why did he have to be so bloody handsome? “You look a little… distressed.”

Merlin gave him a gloomy look, trying hard not to show any of his real feelings. “I am not distressed.” 

“Well, you still look like you could use a drink. Scotch?”

Merlin shrugged. “Sure.”

He might as well let himself get drunk again; maybe then he would find back to his senses. He certainly was not falling in love with Arthur Pendragon. Not a chance. He was just confused because Arthur had turned out to be quite... affable after all, that was all. 

Except that getting drunk didn’t help at all.

An hour and several glasses of Scotch later, Merlin and Arthur were laughing about an anecdote Merlin had from college, when he and Gwaine had been roommates, and Merlin couldn’t help thinking that Arthur’s carefree laughter was the most beautiful thing his ears had ever heard.

He was a hopeless case, really.

“Merlin?” Arthur said when they’d both finally stopped laughing.

“Hm?”

“I have a secret I’ve never told anybody.”

Merlin looked at him curiously. “What secret?”

Arthur cleared his throat, hesitating.

“Come on, you know your secrets are safe with me.” Merlin encouraged him with a smile, lightly nudging his shoulder.

Arthur nodded, nervously fumbling with his sleeves. It was so unlike him that Merlin could only wonder what kind of big secret he must have. 

“Well, the thing is… I don’t think I’m entirely straight.” he brought out a few moments later and Merlin started coughing violently, almost choking on the gulp of Scotch he’d just taken. His eyes widened and his heart stopped working for a second, before jumping into a fast, wild rhythm.

“I mean, I _do_ like girls, but…”

Merlin tilted his head and gave him a nervous smile. “But you also like dick?”

“I guess. I mean, I never tried… but… yes.”

Now that changed everything, Merlin thought. He wasn’t sure it was for the better, though. Falling for Arthur thinking that he was straight and out of his reach was one thing - falling for him knowing that there was a possibility that he could like him too, was something entirely else.

“And I’m the first you ever told about that?” Merlin asked softly, a tiny bit flattered about Arthur’s trust in him.

“Yeah, I… well, thanks for being so cool about it.”

Merlin gave him a look, confused for a second, before realizing that Arthur probably had no idea… He’d assumed that Gwaine or Lance or even Gwen had told him, but apparently…

“Arthur?” Merlin reached out to squeeze his arm softly and met his eyes, a smile gracing his lips. “You _do_ know I’m gay, right?” 

Arthur’s eyes widened as he stared at him. He hadn’t known.

“You… you are?”

“Yep.”

Arthur stared at him for a while longer, before turning to his drink and emptying it in one gulp. Then he turned back to Merlin and before Merlin could do so much as think about what he was doing, Arthur pressed his lips against his in an almost desperate kiss.

Merlin gasped in surprise and needed a few moments to react; when he managed to gather his wits again, he pushed Arthur gently away.

“What are you doing?” he asked just as softly, his head tilted and a smile ghosting on his lips. He didn’t want Arthur to think that he was rejecting him, because he wasn’t.

Arthur ran a hand through his hair, letting out a breath. “I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

But Merlin had a pretty good idea what was going on. 

“That wasn’t a proper first kiss, you know?” He said, smirking.

Arthur made a face. “It wasn’t– It’s not that I– I kissed _girls_ bef–” 

Merlin chuckled quietly and put a finger on Arthur’s lips to shut him up. He leaned closer, whispering, “I know.” 

Then he replaced his finger with his lips and kissed Arthur softly, before pressing closer and deepening the kiss, his hands buried in his hair. A soft moan escaped Arthur’s lips and Merlin smiled, for the first time fully embracing the fluttering in his stomach. Arthur’s lips were soft and warm and he tasted so good that Merlin wished he could just spend the rest of his life tasting them. Kissing Arthur felt like everything; and Merlin knew in that exact moment that he and Arthur would never be just a random make-out or a one-night-stand. There was something special between them; something deep. And it was completely different from everything he’d ever experienced before. 

Arthur was still a prat, but maybe, Merlin thought, he was a prat that Merlin could actually and truly love. 

Arthur Pendragon of all people. 

 

*****

 

**2 months later:**

Merlin and Arthur decided not to announce their relationship officially in front of their friends; instead, they decided it would be best for them to find out on their own. So when they were - not subtly at all - making out in Gwaine’s kitchen at their friend’s birthday party, Lance’s loud “HA!” followed by an even louder “OH MY GOD!” that caused every single guest to come into the kitchen and see what was going on, was exactly what they’d wanted.

After that, everyone was buzzing around them, asking questions and wishing them the best of luck. Merlin and Arthur just exchanged a small, happy smile and Merlin squeezed Arthur's hand reassuringly. It had also been Arthur’s big coming-out in front of their friends, and Merlin knew from experience how hard it could be. 

 

**6 months later:**

“Merlin!? Have you seen my socks?” Arthur yelled from the bedroom and Merlin smiled to himself as he was making breakfast.

“Just take a pair of mine!” He yelled back and shook his head in amusement. For all that Arthur thought that and acted like he was superior to most people, he was hopeless and actually pretty messy at home. 

When he appeared in the door frame a few moments later, he wore two different colored socks and a pair of _Merlin’s_ underwear, his hair tousled and sticking out in all directions.

Merlin burst into to laughter and walked over to him, unable to fathom just how adorable his favorite prat could be. Sometimes Merlin couldn’t believe how wrong his first impression of him had been.

Arthur put on a fake-pout. “Stop laughing at me.”

Merlin wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“Why, you look gorgeous.”

Arthur snorted. “And stop being such a girl. Sometimes I think I fell in love with a girl after all.”

Merlin already had a snarky reply on the tip of his tongue, but swallowed it when he realized what Arthur had just said. He beamed at him; and he watched Arthur blush when he realized it, too.

“Umm…” he brought out, before reaching out and pulling Merlin closer to him. “Guess it’s out then.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Is it?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Shut up, you idiot. I love you.”

Merlin felt his heart doing somersaults in his chest and his stomach flutter as he smiled broadly at Arthur, feeling happier than he’d ever felt before.

“Well, good thing that I love you too, then. Prat.”

Arthur gave him an incredulous look, but he smiled too and when he kissed him, Merlin knew he would never love another. It was Arthur for him. Arthur Pendragon of all people; the one he couldn’t stand at all at first.

Sometimes Merlin thought about the first night in the pub, when he’d been sure that putting up with Arthur Pendragon wasn’t worth any possible benefit that might come from it at all. Looking at the wide and shining smile in front of him now, he knew it had been worth it after all, all of it. 

 

-Fin-


End file.
